Dear Papa, I started writing this letter several years ago. I have started it about twenty times, but it never really said what I thought it should or wanted it to, and now maybe itÃ?¢ââ??‰â??¢s too late but I feel it needs saying. The older I get, the more I influence the lives of my sons, the harder I push on in life, the more thankful I am for those few years I spent with you and Grinny. When I try to remember my early years in life I only catch glimpses of my Grandpa Henry sitting in a chair in Henderson when I visited him and Grandma Marion. I remember playing in backyard of a duplex in Longview while mom went to college. I recall a few naptimes at the Montessori school, climbing various trees, looking up at a doctor with blood in my eye as he stitched my head closed from a childish mistake, and some kid on the playground smashing a robin egg in my hand that I had found. All just snippets of the first few years of my life. But when I think of growing, of my development, of where my values in life, propriety, responsibility, and the foundation of the man I am today and what I try to tap into and instill in my own children, I see you. Life is hard on everyone at some point. I know that there are those that have had it much worse in life than I, and have come out much better for it, but I am not them. I know that I am not alone in thinking that no child should ever have to endure what I did. It was bad enough when I lived it and as I have gotten holder and understood more of what actually happened once I left the care of you and Grinny, I realized it was worse than I thought. I was angry about it at some point, depressed at others, and bewildered more often than not. But I wouldnÃ?¢ââ??‰â??¢t change it for the world. You taught me things in those few years that I didnÃ?¢ââ??‰â??¢t come to fully understand until much later. Even today I use tools you developed in me, long before I ever had need of them. I truly believe that if it had not been for your guidance I would not have survived my youth to be the man I am today. I like who I am, and continuously try to be a better me. I work hard to minimize the chance for regret in my life, but I have a few. One of those is that you donÃ?¢ââ??‰â??¢t know my family. I think Samantha is the most wonderful person in the world. I think you would like her too. She is amazingly artistic, financially conservative, brilliant and practical. She motivates me, and keeps me grounded too. She makes me want to be a better man, and I love her more every day. Dair and Brenden are pretty amazing too. Dair is 12 now and I already see the buds of some pretty interesting years ahead as he learns more about who he is, and what he really wants in life. Brenden is a fun and outgoing ball of curiosity and interaction. The poor little guy got stuck with a family of introverts, but we let him drag us around to see and watch and do as much as we can stand, maybe a bit more. They are both so very smart, and Sam and I are so very proud that they are both enthusiastic and avid readers. I m working hard to make the best life for them that I can, and give them every opportunity in life to succeed, and never have to know the difficulties and sacrifices that Sam and I make to save them from suffering the trials and tribulations of being adults. ThatÃ?¢ââ??‰â??¢s OUR responsibility for now. IÃ?¢ââ??‰â??¢m very proud of my little family, and I think you would be too. I know we donÃ?¢ââ??‰â??¢t talk much, I think we both were a bit hesitant about how to start, or adding too much reality and truth to our relationship instead of maintaining the hazed history of a little boy and his Papa. But I want you to know that IÃ?¢ââ??‰â??¢m gonna be just fine. I am a good father and husband, and I will do everything I can in this world to provide for them and protect them. We are all going to be just fine, and I have to thank you for that. I love you, Papa. Your Grandson, Jay
