John Otis Ashby Sr's Obituary
John was born 13 Mar 1946, a 4th-generation Tulsan, to fabulous, indulgent parents Donald Croft and D. Maxine Glasby Ashby. He used to talk of going door to door in his youth nearly every day to collect the kids in his neighborhood for pick-up games of baseball on the empty lot. ‘Johne’ attended Tulsa’s Central High School in its heyday downtown, and was class president and in student council and many clubs and committees; he graduated in 1964. He married his high school girlfriend, Donna Kay Cooper, just weeks after graduation on June 29th. He enlisted in the Air Force and served in Spokane, Washington from 1966-1970. They returned to Tulsa, where he settled into the restaurant business, working over the next five decades at The Argentina Steakhouse, Montagues, The Razor Clam, The French Hen, Stussels, Annie’s Diner, Capistrano’s, Pomodori’s, Camerelli’s and Biga.
He had a very sharp mind and memory, a ready wit, and an inexhaustible repertoire of jokes, which won him many friends and even more loyal customers among Tulsans that frequently ate out. He enjoyed movies of all kinds, loved architecture and sketched many meticulous designs over the years, and knew the artist and title of every song ever written (and could probably sing along) no matter its decade or genre. His granddaughter, Spotify in hand, tested this claim exhaustively, and he never missed even one. John also had a lifetime love of cycling and always owned a good bike. He participated several times in Oklahoma’s FreeWheel bicycle tour, twice while pulling his daughter Macy in a bike trailer. He never missed watching the Tour de France and all the big European races, and enthusiastically followed all the great riders. He also knew every single automobile ever made, its engine and stats, and loved something about them all. He had “Tuesday’s with PawPaw” dinners with his daughter Holly’s family for nearly 20 years, and even after all those that were lost in play, her kids still have well over 700 Hot Wheels that he brought as gifts over that time. John was also a dog-whisperer of no small order. All dogs were drawn to him and if he met yours, they would maddeningly want to go home with him after a mere 5 minutes’ acquaintance. He had many pampered pets during his life.
John and Donna had 3 children together but then divorced after 15yrs of marriage. He remarried to Ella Bell Gallagher on 9 Mar 1981 in Tulsa and they had one daughter before also divorcing, though they stayed friends until her early death in 2001. Soon after their marriage John and Ella moved to Santa Fe for a few years where he worked at The Compound restaurant, which is still there and still winning awards. While there, he met the artist Georgia O’Keefe, and he always said that even though she was well into her 90’s at the time, she was probably the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
He had only one sibling, a sister, Dona Lou “Punkin” Northcott, who always thoroughly spoiled him. She died in 2014 and within just 6yrs her husband Richard and all three of their children, Richard Lee, Henry, and Carey, followed. John’s four children and ten grandchildren survive him. Holly Noelle Hofmann, her husband Ben and their three daughters Summer, Tessa and Chloe now live in Arkansas; their two sons are in college. Nicholas is currently pursuing a master’s degree at the University of Vienna, and Tate is attending BYU, currently in Europe for a summer term. Donald Croft Ashby II lives in Virginia and his children are Sadie (in Arkansas) Isabel (in Oklahoma) and Luke (in Nebraska). Doctors John Otis Ashby Jr and his wife Rachel live in Virginia; their son JT lives in Utah with his wife Rosemary and also attends BYU, but is currently on an extended break in Naples, Italy, and their daughter Elise is serving a mission in Phoenix, Az for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Macy Ashby, always John’s very favorite person, is a world traveler with a home base in Minnesota.
John was very fit, never sick a day in his life, and on track to live to 100, but sadly was hit hard and fast with dementia and was unable to say his goodbyes to his many friends in Tulsa, so we do so now for him with a parting joke:
“Two old friends, Ned and John, lived for baseball. Then one day, John died, leaving Ned inconsolable. A few weeks later, Ned heard someone calling his name. He looked up. Standing on a cloud was his old pal. “Ned,” John called down, “I have good news and bad. The good news is, there’s baseball in heaven!” “Great,” said Ned. “What’s the bad news?” “You’re pitching Sunday.”
John passed away peacefully on 29 May 2024 in Tulsa, and a private burial will be in the Fort Gibson National Cemetery.
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