Mary Lou Whiteley's Obituary
Mary Lou (Robinson) DeIlinger Henegar Whiteley was born on July 23, 1934, in Benton County, Arkansas, near Siloam Springs. She was the beloved daughter of Elmer and Pauline Robinson. Mary Lou grew up surrounded by family as one of four children. She was preceded in death by her sister, Betty Pauline Robinson, and her brother, Daniel Robinson. She is survived by her younger brother, Edward Robinson of Bakersfield, California. She was also preceded in death by her husband, Lemuel L. Henegar, who passed away in 1992, and by her beloved son, Dr. Scott Dellinger, who passed away in August 2018.
She is survived by her husband, Arther Whiteley of Catoosa, Oklahoma, her daughter, Rhonda Kay DeFrance of Tulsa, Oklahoma; and her daughter-in-law, Pam Dellinger of Norman, Oklahoma. She is also survived by two sisters-in-laws, Avanelle Dawson of Fort Worth, Texas, and Jinx Robinson of Bakersfield, California; as well as nine grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and many nieces, nephews, and cousins.
She was the proud grandmother known lovingly as “Gramma Lou” of nine grandchildren: Tara Dawn Chavez and her husband, Ruben, of Broken Arrow, Oklahoma; Megan Leigh Riden and her husband, Eric, of Austin, Texas; Clinton Edward DeFrance and his wife, Leanne, of Tulsa, Oklahoma; Shiloh Ethan Dellinger and his wife, Janessa, of Oklahoma City; Major Seth Edward Dellinger, retired from the United States Marine Corps, and his wife, Stephanie, of California; Sarah Emily Redman and her husband, Nathan, of Oklahoma City; Samuel Garrett Dellinger and his wife, Cristina, of Greensboro, North Carolina; Stephan Grant Dellinger and his wife, Anna, of Oklahoma City; and Suzanna Gabrielle Downey and her husband Nathan, of Ohio.
Mary Lou was also blessed to be the great-grandmother of Tristen, Ashton, Cade, Christian, Carter, Colbie, Emsley, Adeline, Aviendha, Shiloh II, Cable, Elika, Ilayna, Grayson, Kincaid, Octavius, Diana, Christi, Holiday, Calvin, Maria, Pria, Keith, Tabitha, Asher, Malachi, James, and with more eagerly anticipated. She felt deeply blessed by these precious little ones, as all grandparents do, and was known to them by many cherished names, including “Ma Lou,” “My Lou,” and “Gramma Lou.”
She loved her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren deeply and took great pride in their accomplishments. Above all, she rejoiced that they knew God’s love and had been raised to keep their eyes on Jesus.
Mary Lou had lived in Oklahoma since the age of ten and often spoke fondly of growing up on the farm with her siblings and loving parents. She believed deeply in the value of being close to nature and was known to say that those who never experienced farm life “missed out.” She graduated from Colcord High School in 1952 and soon after moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma, where she made her home for many years.
A devoted mother, she spent sixteen years as a single parent, faithfully raising her two children to adulthood while working in the business world. Later, she and her late husband, Lem, enjoyed traveling throughout the lower United States until his passing in 1992. Sharing a passion for genealogy, she co-authored his book, Henegar Heritage, a copy of which is held in the Library of Congress.
Mary Lou lived a life of faith, service, and adventure. She participated in mission trips to Mexico through her church, helping to build homes for those in need. She traveled widely, touring the Holy Land in Israel, cruising the Greek Isles and the Panama Canal. Her trips to Israel were among the most meaningful experiences of her life.
At the age of 82, following God’s leading, she fulfilled a lifelong dream by traveling to South Africa, where she spent seven weeks serving at an orphanage near Johannesburg called The Fold, founded by longtime missionaries and friends, Micky and Paul Prince. There, she worked closely with the children listening to them read, sharing stories, teaching English, and most importantly, telling them about Jesus and His love. She sponsored a young boy named Morgan, who captured her heart and dreamed of becoming a doctor. This experience became one of the highlights of her later years, as she cherished being a “grandmother” to children in need and helping give them hope for the future.
She found joy in the beauty of the South African bush country, the Berk Water Mountains, time spent with the children on fun day trips, swimming, picnicking, and celebrating birthdays. She held deep admiration for Prince Ministries and their work sharing the Gospel and Christ’s love with young children.
Professionally, Mary Lou worked in personnel at Public Service Company of Oklahoma and the Oklahoma State Employment Office. She later served as Administrative Secretary at East Tulsa Christian Church and continued in retirement as a volunteer coordinator, always reaching out to others. She was a beloved member of Life Park Christian Fellowship, faithfully serving whenever needed.
She enjoyed writing poetry for her family and friends and welcomed the challenge when others asked her to write. She took great interest in genealogy and was proud of her heritage, knowing she was part Native American, though unable to identify the specific tribe due to unregistered ancestors.
In her later years, Mary Lou was reunited with Arthur Whiteley, a high school friend, and the two were married in October 2023. She treasured the time they spent together and greatly enjoyed sharing her final years with Arthur and his wonderful family in Catoosa, Oklahoma, finding joy, companionship, and renewed love late in life.
Above all, Mary Lou loved her family, her husband, her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren with her whole heart.
Visitation will be from 4:00 PM to 7:00 PM on Friday, February 13, 2026 at Floral Haven Funeral Home and the funeral service will be 10:00 AM, Saturday, February 14, 2026 at the Floral Haven Funeral Home Chapel with committal service to follow at Floral Haven Memorial Gardens, Garden of St Paul.
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