Shirley Joyce passed away on January 18, 2023.
Eighty-one years ago, last November, she was born in Haskell; the daughter of C.S. Berryhill and Beulah E. Berryhill Payne. She was the youngest of six. Her mother collectively referred to them as “our lovely children.” Then, she became the big sister of her two half-brothers. With her eight siblings, Joyce spent her childhood mostly in Okmulgee and Tulsa. She learned piano notes from a template. It was a treat when her mother turned on the radio after school for a popular children’s radio program. Her favorite lunch was a PB&J and fresh strawberries. During high school she met her two lifelong best friends. Her music genre: only Elvis. She met her husband and together they began their parenting adventures.
Joyce was always busy taking care of her family. Her go-to breakfast was Pepsi and a Snickers, but her kids always had their vitamins and good meals. She sewed most of her children’s baby clothes. She was a Girl Scout mom and attended school events unless she worked that evening. Everyone’s clothes were clean, never wrinkled. Her house was always spotless in a Southern Living kind of way, but her nail polish was never chipped. Her idea of camping was spending the night at a hotel near Turner Falls or the Illinois River, but she enjoyed fried catfish nonetheless.
Her kids were often advised, “I want you to to do well in school, get a good education and get a good job before you marry, because after you start your family, you won’t have a life of your own” and for the next generation of mothers, we recognize the dedication she gave us.
In opposition to her step-father who ruled his children with an iron fist, Joyce allowed her kids to make their own decisions but would often warn that “bought wit is the best wit of all if you don’t pay too high a price.” Her advice to new mothers went something like, “You better buckle up because when the teenage years come around, you’ll be in for the ride of your life.” Joyce had an eerie way of knowing more than the simple obvious facts. To not be seen as meddlesome herself, she maneuvered an indirect approach. Joyce had no patience for an overly opinionated teenager but enjoyed a spirited political debate with her peers, often laughing at the end.
Her mother would remind Shirley Joyce of her expectations to carry on family traditions; “Our family is from good stock.” In turn, she would say the same to her kids. Joyce grew up to be a respected friend, wife, parent, and colleague. She had a strong work ethic. “Nothing worth having comes without hard work,” she would sometimes say in reply to one of her kids complaining about a difficult day at school or work. She taught all her kids good morals in their formidable years. Sometimes she would say to a little one underfoot – something simple like, “Don’t get in the way of someone doing their work.” She remembered her mother gently scolding her the same way.
During the drive to drop kids off at school and on to her way to work, Joyce listened to the news every morning. On the way home she would enjoy the rantings of Rush Limbaugh. Dinner was always on time. For any appointment or event, Joyce was never late and often early.
