Stacey Ellen Elam's Obituary
Known as a caring, selfless and joyful woman, Stacey Ellen Elam (Baker), of Tulsa, Oklahoma, left this world peacefully while holding the hands of her loved ones. She passed away at the age of 57, at Saint Francis Main Hospital after a long battle with stage 4 COPD on February 2nd, at 7:09 pm.
She was born in Akron, Iowa in October of 1967, to Allen and Joceyle Baker. Stacey was a cheerful and adventurous child who brought love and light to all who knew her. She loved spending all her time with her devoted parents; She always reminisced passionately on the time she got to share with her grandparents and other family in Iowa. She was born with a heart to love, not just people but animals too. From cats and dogs, to horses and anything in between.
With her parents, Stacey eventually relocated to Litchfield Park, Arizona. There her mother worked on the beautiful golf courses that Arizona has to offer and that is where her love and passion for golf began. Her favorite thing to do was be on the courses, playing golf or helping in any ways that she could. She always swore that an orange soda was THE best drink to have on those hot days.
Stacey became an incredible golfer, playing through High School and even receiving an offer of a college scholarship. Her love for golf led her to many opportunities such as playing with famous athletes for charity including John Elway, Boomer Esiasin and even playing with John Daly.
Ask anyone who knew her, and they could tell you that Stacey was smart, brave and courageous. She took opportunities when they would arrive and always made the most of them. She was a fantastic public speaker with a strong voice, even singing the national anthem in front of large crowds at sports events. One year she was the MC for the Akdar Shrine circus.
Stacey became affiliated with the Akdar Shriners and became a spokesperson for the non-profit when her youngest son Tristin was born with an orthopedic disability. After witnessing his care in the hands of the Shriners, she dedicated her time in assisting other families across the globe seek their own medical miracles.
Stacey eventually went on to her career in cancer care where her love and light shined more than ever. She worked for Cancer Treatment Centers of America as a concierge and had a special relationship with each patient who walked through the doors. There were times when her family would have to remind her to try and maintain a work-life balance, but those words were foreign to her. Her work meant everything to her as a cancer survivor herself, and she resonated with each patient on a personal level. Stacey celebrated when they celebrated and she grieved when they grieved. The relationships she had with the patients she met along the way often grew into friendships that lasted forever.
After CTCA closed their doors, Stacey continued her work by becoming a Patient Advocate at Oklahoma Cancer Specialists and Research Institute; OCSRI quickly became her new home. She helped families get the funding for the treatment that they desperately needed and deserved. Stacey kept children’s toys in her office to create a safe place for people that needed to bring their children. People have joked that the difficult patients would often request to speak with Stacey, due to her ways of communicating and understanding the struggles that these people were facing. If a patient got upset with her and cursed at her, she would say with a smile on her face, “Now that you got that out, let’s see what we can do for you.” and that usually broke the ice pretty quickly.
Stacey had an ability to find a solution to any problem and always let you know that she was on your side. Not only did she love her patients, she loved each and every one of her co-workers. She shared many laughs and stories with her colleagues and the friendships she made there meant the world to her.
Although her job kept her inspired and motivated, there was nothing more important to her than her family. Stacey’s children, two sons Austin “Sonny” Reilly, Tristin Baker-Reilly and her only daughter Hailey Reilly. As a mother to 3, Stacey did an incredible job at having her own unique relationship with each of her children. She loved them all unconditionally and supported them with her whole heart in anything they ever chose to do. She took pride in being a mother, and her kids would tell you she never missed a school function as a busy PTA mom for many years. Every holiday was magical, and she always went above and beyond for her children in any way that she could. The love she had for her children will undoubtedly last forever through them.
Stacey also had her first granddaughter, Laken, in 2017 and their relationship was instantaneously like no other. Stacey’s pride and joy was her granddaughter, and nothing came close to the happiness she felt when they were together. She told stories of Laken to anyone and everyone who would listen. Laken shares Stacey’s joy, humor and resilient attitude and she continues to live on through her. Stacey would spend countless hours with Laken making up songs to sing to her as a baby, eventually showing her music from that of Frank Sinatra when she got older. They loved to sing “Fly Me To The Moon” together.
Stacey recently found out that she was having her second granddaughter, due to join us in August of 2025. She was thrilled to welcome her into the world.
Stacey’s love and light will continue to shine through those who remember her. She will always be thought of for her kindness, and the way she would give her all to help everyone around her, however she could. She prided herself in her love for all people and her children couldn’t ask for a more loving mother. You can find the best traits of Stacey in each of her children and grandchildren. She will be missed everyday, and she will live on in the hearts of all who knew and loved her.
Stacey is survived by her three children, sons Austin “Sonny” Reilly and Tristin Baker-Reilly, and her only daughter Hailey Reilly and son-in-law Charlie Young; her granddaughter Laken and one baby girl on the way; along with other extended family.
She is preceded in death by her parents, Allen and Joceyle Baker.
A funeral will be held for Stacey Elam on Thursday, February 13th, at 3 pm, at Floral Haven Funeral Home. A lunch will be held after, from 4 pm to 6 pm in the Family Center at Floral Haven after the initial service. Donations to the GoFundMe to support Stacey’s family, or flower donations would be greatly appreciated.
The link to the GoFundMe can be found here: https://gofund.me/dfbe9bcf
Those wishing to send flowers for the service may do so by contacting Floral Designs by Floral Haven at (918) 459-1525. Independent florists are kindly asked to deliver flowers directly to Floral Haven Funeral Home by 12:00 PM on Thursday, February 13, 2025, to ensure proper display for Stacey's services.
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