Birth date: Jul 18, 1938 Death date: Nov 6, 2025
Hattie Mae (Broyhill) Benton was born in Decatur, Arkansas on July 18, 1938, to Edna (Vanzant) Broyhill Cunningham. She spent most of her childhood years growing up near Inola, Oklahoma on 160 acres that are affectionately referre Read Obituary
Mom:
A Life of Pride, Purpose, and Love
Her Sanctuary and Her Discipline
Mom’s house and yard were truly her pride and joy. She always seized every opportunity to show off her flowers and her perfectly manicured lawn. She was constantly painting and decorating things, and she would clean and vacuum the house every single day, even if no one else was there. You could literally eat off the floor in her house any day of the week, and almost off the outside patio, too.
She loved to host, and she took her social events seriously. She was the anchor for various parties over the years, most notably the traditional New Year’s Day party that she held annually. Since she didn't drive so these gatherings were her most cherished opportunity to be visited by her family and friends. She and her sister also always planned the big family reunion every year, where you could expect plenty of delicious food and activities for everyone.
Mom raised us like a military organization, but one founded on love. We made our beds every day, cleaned up every mess immediately, brushed our teeth two to three times a day, and took a shower every night. She taught us a core philosophy: bills are first, then you have fun.
A Legacy of Success and Self-Reliance
Because of Mom and Dad's philosophy, they left absolutely no financial burden or hardship on us. She did not believe in leaving anyone with her financial burdens and prepared everything in advance, including selecting her own pictures for the funeral service.
She raised two productive and successful boys. We both have good jobs, provide for our families, and are financially savvy—all due to her teachings.
When we were young, our life wasn't easy; she ruled with authority. Little did we know that her discipline came from a place of deep, selfless love. We later realized the love behind that structure, which helped us build a strong foundation, provide for our own families, and understand the value of protecting them.
Strength Forged in Hardship
We often accused her of being too tight with money, but we didn't realize the extremes she had survived when she was younger. In fact, my mom could squeeze the head off of Lincoln and make a dime out of it!
We had some rough times as kids and didn't always think her rules were fair. But as we aged, we capitalized on the discipline and instructions she had taught us. Now, we only pray that we can instill those same life lessons in our own children.
Mom truly had a hard life. She came out of the Depression, and by today’s standards, you would call her family homeless. During one of those hard times, after her mother left her father, Mom and her sisters traveled from Arkansas back to Oklahoma by wagon—yes, horse and wagon—and lived in an old railroad car. Her mother found a job as a housemaid, and all the children had to either stay in the room all day or outside while she worked for that family.
I wish I had taken the time when I was younger to listen to her life's journeys. She was never one to complain about her childhood, so I didn't truly know how rough her life was until the last few years. If I had known earlier, I probably would have better understood her discipline and financial frugality. I had to pry the information out of her, but once she opened up, I was shocked. She just kept marching forward all the time. Yes, she was stubborn, but she never gave up, and she never said, "It can't be done."
Her Independence and Love
Mom didn't drive. There was a tragedy involving her and her brother that changed her view on driving, but she never complained about transportation. She was incredibly efficient at planning ahead for everything, including detailed grocery lists and menus weeks in advance. She never knew exactly when Dad would get by the grocery store, but she could plan out a month of food preparations.
My brother and I had various transportation challenges growing up, which meant we missed some life events other children experienced, but we didn't know any different—we just continued on. We could only go places or do things when Dad was off work. You don't truly realize the amount of running you have to do for your children until you have your own. I couldn't do it without my wife and her taxi service! I don't know how Mom and Dad did it. Still, we never felt deprived. We had consistent hunting trips every year, the consistent parties she hosted, and enjoyed the family reunion trips. We went on many vacations when we were younger—not as many as we got older—but they were all great trips. Now, I realize that happens because the kids get older, and the trips become expensive and harder to coordinate.
Mom truly loved her grandchildren all the time. Even during their busy teenage years, she loved them and talked about them constantly. She had saved all the cards her grandchildren had given her. They were located in a cabinet right next to her bed. She truly honored every card given to her, but most of them were from the grandchildren.
She was the Chief Executive Officer of the entire family when it came to finances. She could squeeze a nickel out of a penny all the time.
She was very comfortable as a homebody, not going anywhere—especially considering her younger years, where she traveled all the way to Alaska on a dare! Yet, when it came time to putting her in a wheelchair or a walker, she saw it as the most evil thing anyone could do. It was a peculiar contradiction: she didn't seem worried about freedom or independence in terms of travel, so why was losing her mobility so critical to her? Love you Mom (Denus)
I wish I had known what she went through as a kid and the hardships they endured. It would have helped us all better understand her, as we, many times, became irritated with how tight she was with her money.
