Ralph Wayland Joslin Jr.'s Obituary
Ralph Wayland Joslin, Jr. was our dad, our Pa, our husband, our brother. He was also our biggest fan. Dad was born in East Hartford, CT on May 10, 1933 and died on October 30, 2015 in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Ralph was the son of Ralph Wayland Joslin, Sr. and Virginia Pauline Gagne’. He was the older brother to William “Bill” Alfred Joslin. Dad’s family moved to Tulsa from Long Island, NY in 1947 when his father accepted a job with American Airlines following World War II. While he didn’t find Indians living in teepees as he expected, it was a culture shock. Dad attended Will Rogers High School where he met his future wife—Barbara Ann Smithee. The devout Roman Catholic and Southern Baptist began dating in 1951. Yes they really did. In Tulsa, Oklahoma. In the 1950s. Dad considered himself the lucky one and often reminded us (much to our embarrassment) that mom was a “fox” in high school. He knew he had a catch. Like any couple, mom and dad had their ups and downs. But he loved mom and he was proud of her personal accomplishments. He bragged on her frequently. Sometimes publicly. Sometimes privately. After graduating from high school in 1951, dad joined the United States Air Force. He received training in San Antonia, TX and in Rantoul, IL. He proposed to mom while he was in Rantoul. They were married in Tulsa on August 11, 1953. Immediately following their wedding, they loaded up the car and drove back to Rantoul for additional training. Following his training, mom and dad move to Altus, Oklahoma where Terri was born. Later, dad was stationed in Greenland and in Colorado Springs, Colorado. After being discharged from the Air Force, dad enrolled in the Mechanical Engineering program at the University of Tulsa. It was a tough time. By the time he graduated from college in 1963, he and mom had five children—Terri, Mark, Bryan, Kenneth (his favorite) and James. (Sorry guys! You knew I had to add that. Dad would have expected it.) In fact, that was frequently what he called each of us—TerriMarkBryanKennethJamesDamnit!—when he couldn’t recall the name of a specific child. The majority of his professional career was spent as a mechanical engineer at American Airlines. Dad loved his job. He was a true “company man” and loved working at American along with his father and his brother. After 35 years, he retired in 1998. Education was important to dad. He wanted all of his children to get an education. He insisted that an education was always something to fall back on. In reality, he just wanted us to be happy and to do what made us happy. He was right. We did. There was never a doubt that dad was proud of all of us. He supported us—even when it against his better judgement. One of dad’s greatest joys came from his participation in Toastmaster’s International. He joined Toastmasters in 1973 and soon learned to love public speaking. He frequently entertained (and tormented) his family by practicing the many speeches he gave. As children do, we often rolled our eyes and repeated lines from his speeches to tease him. “It IS good!” was one of our favorite lines. Toastmasters International quickly became a part of the family. We sometimes referred to ourselves as “Toastmasters Brats.” Dad was club president, area governor, division governor, district governor and even Region III International Director. He won many speech contests and proudly displayed his many trophies and awards of recognition. Dad believed so strongly in the benefits of Toastmasters that he would try to recruit anyone who would listen—a waitress in a restaurant, a clerk in a shop and most importantly, his family. He loved mentoring new members and was very proud of his Will Rogers Club family. Dad wasn’t without his faults. He knew he had them. We knew he had them. We had them too. We loved the “all” of him. He loved the “all” of us. He was a man who said, “I love you.” He was a man who hugged us. He was a man who kissed us. He was a man who taught us not to be ashamed to cry. Like any proper father, dad would embarrass his family in public. He might be seen wearing a long blue and yellow bathing suit while singing, “I am pretty! Oh so pretty!” or he might be heard proudly singing Ave’ Maria or Adeste Fidelis in his best (his words, not our) baritone voice, while we rolled our eyes. That didn’t stop him—it encouraged him. He passed along that gene to each of his children and grandchildren–a willingness to embrace our dorkiness. Dad’s survivors include his wife of 62 years, Barbara Ann Smithee Joslin of Tulsa; brother William “Bill” Alfred Joslin and wife Francis of Sand Springs; children Mark Stephen Joslin and wife, Laurie of Sand Springs; Terri Marie Joslin and husband, Terrance Aziere of Tulsa; Bryan David Joslin of San Francisco, CA, Kenneth Stuart Joslin and husband Mark Linholm of Tulsa; and James Wayland Joslin of Oklahoma City; grandchildren Chelsea Lee Joslin and wife, Heather Roberts of Tulsa; Erin Marie Shatto and husband, Chris, of Claremore, OK; great grand-children Austin and Skylar of Claremore, OK. One of dad’s greatest joys was being Pa to his granddaughters Chelsea and Erin and his great-grandchildren Austin and Skylar. Even as his health declined over the last two years, Pa would entertain Austin by participating in sword fights using his cane. Pa could make the most convincing “Aghh…you got me” sounds that any great-grandson would love. Pa was the youngest 82 year old man you could ever meet. When dad liked you, you knew it. And he liked most people. He adored his extended family. He adored his friends. He would talk to anyone. Anyone! Dad had a good soul. We never knew exactly where his sense of justice came from, but he often spoke up against racism, sexism, homophobia and antisemitism. The jokes just weren’t funny to him. He cared how others felt. He was our dad, our Pa, our husband, our brother, our friend. He was a good man. Our hearts hurt. We will miss him. May his memory be eternal. A celebration of Dad’s life will be held Wednesday, November 4, 2015 at 2:00pm at the Floral Haven Funeral Home Family Center, in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma.
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